Smell is a pretty intoxicating sense. It alters your thoughts in like a flash of a second. But somehow, a particular smell brings certain thoughts to my mind. I have got to be mad to be talking about what I am going to, but, even then being crazy IS my forte. And the thing about smell is that you cant really express it, i mean, for the sense of sight there are pictures and videos, for hearing, there's music, and noise. But for smell, there's nothing. How am I supposed to convey what the heck I am trying to say? We've heard of the brand called dove, owned by Unilever. For some strange reason I associate something with that smell, someone would be more apt. It brings back memories, sweet memories, painful yet worth remembering. Indulgence in the realm of relationships? I guess so. It's too much to think about at the moment, especially when the only choice you are left with is to let go. But with such a smell, how do I let go of the memories? How do I stop the smell reaching to my senses?
It's all just complicated. But with every single passing moment, makes me think that you probably do not have a heart. Maybe you do, but it is filled with so much weight that you do not want to do anything about it. I can't get into your mind, to take control over things, even though it would be my pleasure to do so, because for one thing, I KNOW I can change your life forever. But, sigh, you just wanna continue with this. And the worse thing is, you do not even realise the repercussions of your own decisions.
How easy it is for you to say, I have not been a good person to blah, blah and blah, and then comes the time reference to the blah2. Not that I "should" care, but it does feel tingy, to be frank it really does hurt. I have been over this, and the closer it gets to that, I think the decision will have to be made. I do not want to think about that, but you just do not seem to get off my mind.

Hurt.


Cyberbeast

"It's never about you, bitch. Its about the one-to-one between US."

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No, I am not too sure about anything these days, especially things about you. Yes, I am confused and utterly sad about somethings. It is very hard to let things go. Sometimes more so than ever, because you feel connected to it somehow. And somehow unintentionally, we care about somethings so much that it just so hurts if expectations are not directed in the opposite way. Really, I wish things would have worked out. And when I think how happy 2 people could have been... I just don't know whether to contemplate the loss or what. I feel a little left out in the part where you were supposed to appreciate, the feelings. I guess, mine weren't any different than what others show. But then, dear, if it were so... then probably your actions are definitely justified. And there's always this one thing that bugs me. Why make "the choice" from the "others"? It's all gonna be a mystery. I guess, this IS my break up. Break up with/from what? I also don't know the answer to that. Haha, funny isn't it? Well, LAUGH then, cause I think I am a joke.
Shit, when I think of those times, it just feels so different, and good. Those moments before things started to fuck up are like the best ever. haha, I am depressed.

Now I know that I can't make you stay
But where's your heart?
But where's your heart?
But where's your...?

And I know there's nothing I could say
To change that part
To change that part
To change...

So many bright lights to cast a shadow, but can I speak?
Well, is it hard understanding I'm incomplete?
A life that's so demanding, I get so weak
A love that's so demanding, I can't speak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you could say can stop me going home

Can you see my eyes are shining bright
?Cause I'm out here on the other side
Of a jet black hotel mirror and I'm so weak
Is it hard understanding I'm incomplete?
A love that's so demanding I get weak

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you could say can stop me going home

These bright lights have always blinded me
These bright lights have always blinded me
I say

I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

(How can I see, I see you lying)
'Cause I see you lying next to me
(How can I see, I see you lying)
With words I thought I'd never speak
(How can I see, I see you lying)
Awake and unafraid
(How can I see, I see you lying)
Asleep or dead!

'Cause I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead!

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
(Or dead!)
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home
(Or dead!)

Long ago
Just like the hearse, you die to get in again
We are so far from you

Burning on
Just like a match you strike to incinerate
The lives of everyone you know

And what's the worst you take
(Worst you take)
From every heart you break
(Heart you break)
And like a blade you stain
(Blade you stain)
Well, I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst that I could say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Came a time
When every star fall
Brought you to tears again
We are the very hurt you sold

And what's the worst you take
(Worst you take)
From every heart you break
(Heart you break)
And like the blade you stain
(Blade you stain)
Well, I've been holding on tonight

What's the worst that I could say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

Well, if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long NOT goodnight

Can you hear me?
Are you near me?
Can we pretend?
To leave and then
We'll meet again
When both our cars collide

What's the worst that I could say?
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long not goodnight

Well, if you carry on this way
Things are better if I stay
So long and goodnight
So long and goodnight

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A mother sings a lullaby to a child
Sometime in the future the boy goes wild
And all his nerves are feeling some kind of energy

A walk in the woods and I will try
Something under the trees that made you cry
It's so ****** when your make up runs

A few minutes with me inside my van
Should be so beautiful if we can
I'm feeling something taking over me

I got wiring loose inside my head
I got books that I never, ever read
I got secrets in my garden shed
I got a scar where all my urges bled
I got people underneath my bed
I got a place where all my dreams are dead
Swim with me into your blackest eyes


fuck.. i wish u cud have been, with me and mine.
hmm .. chocolate... is just awesome.. but u make it seem like ecstasy.

wish u'd care.

‎'silence between two unknown people creates the relation' and 'silence between two known people breaks relation'

well i guess, i love u wayy more than i can ever think of hating u (although u always do give me the reasons to.. )

cyberbeast

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You can change everything you want, just give it a thought.

wow, now whats wrong with YOU???

seriously why is everyone behaving so weirdly?

first THAT person i mentioned in the last post,

and now.. this person... talking isnt that hard right? i mean i know you dont.. but i do.. and at least for the sake of a mutual respect.. u cud just talk right? u apologised for it.. and yet u chose to do it all over again and again. come on.. its never too easy to care for someone.. but i guess we all take these things and people for granted..

well.. like they always say..

we dont understand the importance of something till we are deprived of it.

so if that is what u want.. then u'll have ur deprivation.. and i think what i talked about some person in my last post applies to the new one as well.. the reason most people lose their stars is not cause the stars chose to leave but because most people dont know how to keep them. I hope you'll think about it.. and have something to say about it.

and now i have 2 separate incidents to relate the piece i composed yesterday titled, departure. GREAT!!! as if one was not enough alr..

cyberbeast.

"Dont fuck it up, kiddo!"

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