well,


i guess,
atleast someone saw me doing what i was "actually" doing...
and appreciated me for that..


well, i think, none of this is gonna work,
so its better that i 4get everything, like i always do....

or else, i quit...and let someone suffer...




whatever i do, i do coz i wanna dedicate it to you...
or else, why in this F***in world am i here to do some crazy stuff, with a non-functional feet and and pulled muscles...


i m doing this for you...Believe me or not..
but i guess, its gonna way too long when people actually start realising that..



i mean,
i remember some sentences that you once told me...

".....for a long time, rather than......just met"

i m not telling you, that you are wrong or what,...
but all i m asking you to do is to analyze this...




of course, i can read the first comment in your mind... "what tha heck is your problem...?",
but ya, with that, i m also not expecting considerations...


icare

i had dream last nite....
the events were quite similar to what is actually happening now...


but somehow...


the ball did curl, and...


and
i was alone..



all alone...






but in contrast to that, i would always remember

"i appreciate......"




nvr mind....i guess,
its gonna be too late till it is realised that all that was interpreted was all wrong, only one truth prevailed in all the posts...

and that is..

icare...more than anything,


loves,


Sandesh
:|

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well,
concerns are valid....


but that doesnt rule out the fact that you lied to me and still you arent doing anything about me....you havent even told me yet...

i wasnt expecting this from you...
why..??


today i wont resist...


why?? why??,
did i fall short of doing my best and playing my part of a _______.
did i ever made you feel that, there is no one ____ ___.

ever...??


i've always...stood up...

only for you...






i am really disappointed...


You led me down...
but you wont care about it, coz...

you dont care right..??
OTHER people are more important to you..



but somehow even throughout our lives, we never realise that there are people who can do anything for youm even without you knowing about it...and that is exactly what i have been doing....but am i getting any results....?????

NO

nvr...


SHIT*


nvr expected this...



but even then, i wont fall back...







lets leave that...lets talk about something else..
erm....well our dance is turning out to be a bit boring...


"Pooja (di) and co." (hahaha)...

but seriously...
Victoria Idol will always remain in my memories....seriously....



S3GAP rox...
TO THE CORE....




nvr mind....try to forget..
i12341234342654cr56i34334653445e4565567686743d654
635656987
9356
6790
9-


last nite..
*



sayonara..
SaNdEsH

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I am fucking angry...coz of TONITE's conversations...and talkings...

you may not notice this...but i m...






after so much....i get so little...
but i dint argue....i agreed QUIETLY (just for you)


although i know, i m not gonna be getting some confronting messages...
its quite obvious..


nvr mind..
i'll still wait..



that atleast one day, when life would be risked
MAYBE then you'd understand...
how much...




i guess, instead of a language its becoming more of a practice..

but at the moment..i m very very angry...



revealed the blog id to a new person too..
i trust him..





but
moral of the story..




i m angry
i m hurt




guess, this poem will fit for tonite
(slightly modified from the original to convey meaning....)


someday you'll cry for me,
like i cried for you,
someday you'll miss me
like the way i missed you
someday you'll need me,
like i needed you,
someday you'll love me,
and YET, i'll love you forever...

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alright...




this true ...

but i m gonna kill someone
someone's gonna die,
if i see another spark...





allrite..

well the past few days have been not so good..

the only thing i really enjoy doing is the dance practice with the rest of the guys..
well...something to it..



i can reach down onto one conclusion

"leave the soccer to the professionals...sucker, just leave it..!!!"

well, i really felt my heartbeat actually stop @ that moment..




i could see something...but it was too late for my reflexes to do anything.....bound to nature.!!


well ya...i can really see those...
oooohhh aaaahh....things going in your mind...


but for a moment..
i couldn;t hear anything..

but a weak and faint shout..

and b4 my hands could have done anything...
i could see it closing...and there..that was it..


rushing to provide as much comfort as i could..
...went down...and i wanted to fuckin'ly wanted to abuse..*****

but the crying made my heart go loose
...and what i was trained in soccer...i had to do it there..


"stop crying..." that was the only thing i wanted to say...but the words just dint seem to come through my mouth...and in vain i could only watch di, cry... HELL!

after massaging her head for a while...and making her sit upright, i could relieve myself coz...she dint experience a black out, and she was breathing normally...(her pulse seemed normal...although i couldnt count properly..)

she was brave...enough to dare to sit properly..
and i guess, even i wouldnt have done that..if in the same situation...




THATS THE FUCKIN POWER OF PASSION..which somehow not many people in this world actually have....


i felt really relieved when she stood up..




A SCIENTIFIC CONCLUSION of the incident
The brain is not supposed to with stand any sudden movements of the head. The brain muscles are very sensitive to instant motion of the head (the reason why we feel dizzy when we experience circular motion). The moment, the ball hit di's head, its heavy impact caused a sudden reaction by the brain and released a very sharp pain. The collision of the ball with the face had nothing to do with the final pain that was felt.... the movement of the head (due to the collision) released pain. The brain muscles contract suddenly and more brain fluid is created in order to maintain the balance of the brain inside the skull..., In order for the muscles to contract, the body needs to be @ atleast, 76% rest, which was of course not possible at that time and thus lying down straight on the ground and breathing heavily was the best option to release the tightened muscles. Another pain might have been experienced at night, since the body is in its maximum resting state at night ( but this doesn't happen in all head collisions).

During any head injury the only thing to do is to lie down straight on the ground and breathe heavily. Respiration is accountable for production of energy required by the brain to create the brain fluid which acts a "movement preventer" for the brain inside the skull.







and
what do you expect after that...



"something similar happened" @ the most fucking place on earth
"she faked it.." (((FUCK YOU)))





bloody hell..


the ball hadnt curled, otherwise something worse could have happened... (god forbid it doesnt happen)



but YOU dont worry...
smile till you can..




coz i am gonna make sure i curl the ball...
i m..


felt better after knowing that di's allrite now...




((((i guess, it was your luck or what, but if by any fucking chance you had curled the ball, i would have kicked the fuckin ass out of your smelly butts....for sure...and i heck care about the consequences..>)))



nvr mind...
the thing is



di's fine..




well...the dance practice has been going on gr8...and we are expecting to do gr8...





but i dont know why, i would always remember Victoria Idol over any other group dance performance with non-dancers i have ever given.....seriously...


maybe my perceptions might change..




well....
for YOU



Beware of ME





and for the others...
take care




well......i will try my best to reply to NJ...


such a long time...






but there was a moment...
when...
di
held my hand...



and i could feel the energy rushing in me...
i could have done anything that time..







i aint seeing her crying anymore..


i feel proud to be di's brother....


woohoo...you rock....


DI
















DI

SaNdEsH
Tk care




adios..




whats happening with you... imean....what is all that on your blog...





if its about me....then please i guess...you are wrong...i dont have any such perceptions

you are the same old...


for me..
you'll always be...

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well...dont ask me why...just dont..??
i m not even expecting you to..


and what else can i expect...
f***in surprises which suck even more when they are classified under the word SURPRISE...

ya rite..



well the day was quite fine, i mean, if a loss of sense of time counts as an element of a good day..

got up, had lunch, went to Fairmont Hotel Raffles Plaza, to meet SOMEONE..((oooh oooh..ya wateva...)

came back, small eye-catching with "some people", had dinner, sms'd, fooled someone...



well i guess, it lacks a bit of complexity...
but, i guess..
today surely wasnt the day for cooperation, more of a "i dont wanna do this, coz i m scared" day...

and the last thing you'd expect to do, after reaching the climax of a quite well planned joke, is a phone call, that just ruins everything...




aaargh...i just wanted her to reply to THAT msg, after which, when i would have replied, she would have literally cried IN LAUGHTER...



but, i guess, luck wasnt with me or what, and instead of a call i actually received a call...

omg


but nvr mind, i'll tell the others about it l8r..
haha




and then






it came
crashing into me like...dunno what..



i mean, come on,
qualifications cant be higher than mine @ the moment...


but does anyone know about it..??
do the people really know me...are they pretending to know me or perhaps are they just judging me on what i appear to them...?



the biggest question of 'em all...
does someone really know...


someone...??? someone!!!



i guess...and i am certainly not expecting..
but








well politics is a medium of what reflects the people in a group and makes them different from each other....




hostel..





k nvr mind, i think i will forget it...
but that doesnt rule out the possibility that


i might quit..


for sure..

no turning back this time..




like the freakin cold that hasnt left me yet, i will not let go of this time...

this time, its you who'll feel sorry.,,.. not me!!!
i'll show you...


coz i got LP in me..
not some f***in "no generalised genre"..




this time, you'll definitely realise..

ppl who care, r ppl who make you...
nvr mind...

i guess...
all this doesnt have its use..



well better to slam it down within me...
change of ***********



well...
a few days ago, i found out about some really unexpected visitors to my blog...
had a quite nice time last nite...

played soccer ( a lot more than my body can bear), went to hindi school (in the morning), had a mini dance practice session with di and gang...lolz..

was really nice...
maybe we'all should arrange ball dances in future...




but ppl like @(!*&#&*^!@$)*&|a~#~#cba`#~#~%%^#l1%#$##m~$!%^@^&i|~(*#)&)~*(#&~ would make a fuss out of it...
ppl just doesnt realise...




well, i guess, like everyone even they wouldn't understand a god-damn word i write here...




but as i always say,
everything has meaning..


everything...
everything..
everything.




and more reflective..

cant see it,...
disappeared or changed..

perhaps vanished...
























SHIT
Bullshit!!!








Fy'all, dont every think of troubling *! till it really gets out of hands..










guess,,,,i am getting a bit too harsh..
sorry...



but i m angry...
i wont show...ever,





but i m angry...
:()



LP Rox...
thnx..


SaNdEsH
Take Care







Hoping you nvr do this again in Future....




for "you"
angles turning wide apart...


thats all i have to say
adios

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haha...
back after quite a long long long time..

well nvr mind..
the TIME was never wasted though...



well i had been busy mailing (this really cool person), printing, testing..


my SSEF software is now somewhat working on all Service Pack components for Windows XP and Vista too...cool right,..??

haha
yeah


well SL Camp was gr8...had a lot of fun..



aaahhh shit..
am not feeling well again..

COLD...


nvr mind, today's post is gonna be short..


well nothing interesting has been happening in the last week,
except for the fact, that i am discovering this person i have been talking about..



well NJ's a real nice person and there is nothing that i wont be able to relate with her which is also related to the word COOL!!!


so well although i dint ask for copright permission, but this is a poem she has written..its really cool...

That One Door That Leads To Life...

Aug 26, 2007 4:51 PM

when all lights seem to be extinguished

and all the roads seem to have grown with thorns

that one door which leads to life opens...

as we see it with wet eyes crying in anguish....

when the pupil of our eyes widens as we see the daylights' blaze through th door,

and as the spectrum that splits into the room thats the prison,

the cactus turns into a sunflower facing the light indoor.....

That one door which leads to life,

that one door whcih leads to paradise ....

is the road where love is scattered, like autumn leaves on the road...

welcome abode..... to the heaven express

And the door shall take you to a paradise called Earth...........

--25th aug. 2007.

hope

the message was clear..

wth..

but today i wont refrain myself from naming...

well they think it isnt possibl for me to notice...

but

AMOS...,what you think about me and Nh is wrong allrite..

i mean, y'all wont remember this but..

i do, the second day of the SL camp,

when you were sitting behind me during assembly time in the morning..

i could hear you say all that

you know..

and i guess, the reaction from SOMEONE was also not so appropriate..

like wtf...!!

nvr mind...thats the POWER of the blg..

to reveal things in sucha mysterious manner, that people would surely misinterpret the corrct meaning...

suckers..

anyways...no comments on that..




adios
take care


:)

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allrite...
there would be so less people, who wouldnt agree with me but


G-force SUX>>>SUX to the core, its up and official now...
not even off the record,

i mean come on, who likes doing all that...but sometimes...nvr mind...

these people are bad charms...so good to keep away from them...




today was quite a variable day...the earlier part was okayokay, but the l8r turned out to be a mess...

my software was buggin up in the Windows XP 32 bit editions but was working like some Ferrari on the Windows XP x86 Cross Platform SP3 Operating system....and Windows Vista 32 bit edition SP1....i mean

i had designed the software to run even on the Windows 9.0 Operating System base,...for future x86 editions...

somehow i managed to burn up an alternative solution....
there are always many alternative solution to each problem.... (as they say...and as i believe)

but nvr mind that was...different.


at the moment i am not so in a good mood, coz di's really angry coz of something (not bcoz of me), but coz of some other people, who dont really realize with whom to behave in what way....???

so at dinner time, it all ends up in ruining her evening.... and she getting pissed off,
but in any case you get to read this (culprits), please just kick this in your brains alright,

every person is different and has a unique level of tolerance, and when things just dont go right, it leaves behind impressions that arent so charming enough... and my di, is one of those who has a good level of tolerance (better than most) but when it comes to unstoppable teasing...come on,i mean


she was wiser to go away from there....instead of replying on your face...and thats that...
k??

money isnt everything in the world, but this fact wont squeeze into the minds of the G ppl,, who are like ... lets not talk about it anymore....



nvr mind..
the say's been bad already..


sorry...
i want you to talk to me...


take care
:D


oh ya, i 4got to mention..
new character being jotted down..





entry in the next post i guess..

lolz

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