ahh...u r so cute

ahh...u r so cute

well all connotative meanings for the title of this post are completely acceptable. and maybe i cant deny this....but i can feel u here now...
the very thought about u gives me that, that feeling, makes me truly believe in myself... u brought me up from the dark and now i m shy enough to ask u, bring me through any darkness that comes my way for life...

i dont know what to say, but i think if and only if i can gather courage to tell u how much i love u, or perhaps show it u....but its sorta difficult.... i know...no way out....

well leaving that "hopeless" story behind...i would like to think and recollect all those things that happened during the day today.
Well in the morning got up....as usual and left for school for BIO make-up lessons.....i know they were boring...but i was trying to be at my best....but couldnt resist cursing and abusing myself for things... Got back some assignments.. (and i am glad that....I SCK and i literally mean I SCK @ BIO) fcuk sandesh well nvr mind...moving on...
having lost my mood in studying....so went back hostel....to find that the Dell ppl waiting for me...they gave me the things i needed (DELL rox) and then i had dinner...and went to book tickets for India for Novemeber....dint get a direct flight thought....but instead got a better one...so now i will also be enjoyin another airport of this world (making the total , 12...wooohoo i have visited 12 airports around the world.....COMPLICATIONS) My flight stopping @ Bangkok.
Well the place where we had to go was nothing less than a maze.....but after sometime i found my way to the top...hehe(well i want to find my way to the top with her now.....i need the warmth of her hands in mine, i dont like that chill in my hand @ this moment....got nothing to warm me.....my hands getting numb....number.....HELP ME....(linkin park rox btw...am a jolly big fan of theirs)) well towards the evening....something gr8 awaited me.... i met one of my dad's friend, nice guy he is.....i saw him last about 4 yrs ago and 7 yrs ago b4 that...so i went out to dine with him to parkway.... when i came back....he passed me stuff my mom sent me from INDIA....
thnx mom....LOVE U MOM thnx for the cool and sexy jacket... i just love it...cried a bit at the letter she sent with it....
well to really say females are really different people..., they make u cry, they make u happy, they make u realise, they make u LOVE...and i guess u too agree with that..
towards nite...i engaged in some good little chat with a very nice person i admire and respect....hehe i know very strange and LOL but serious...i do ... and yes i do....i do ido ... (less ppl around here on this planet....who fit into that list of mine....although this person found the way quite easily). something that is still running in my mind is the same old thing....do not back out... dont fear what might happen if u do... fear what might happen if u dont....and yeah always remember

i am there to support u no matter wht.... k
k?

Maybe i should sleep now..... its like 1.50+ now....in the morning....hehe....no sleep
u make my sleeps vanish...hehe

HAPPY JANMASHTHAMI

Sayonara
Sandesh
lv u

:)

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aah....am tired..

well the past few days are going quite well and i think its more because of someone. But as they say....its difficult to understand...COMPLEXITY rules man....difficult to join back those delicate threads... i will talk abt that l8r...

well saturday was fun...
Like always...i thought something different would happen, but FORTUNATELY nothing much happened..but i got to see that...that other angle of the boys... well that is something what i nvr would have expected in my whole life...but yeah as it goes..Exceptions are always there.

I got up late in the morning and my arm was paining badly, cause of that small scale accident in the bus last nite after the competition. Not serious though....but i dint care for any pain....That small cute girl's smile just made me forget all pains... well... if u dont get what the hell i m talking about...then lemme tell u

Me and my team got into the finals of a prestigious robotics competition (dont be surprised if i tell u that my team being from the IP is competing against the JC/ITE level),....so after me and some other seniors were coming back...the bus driver jammed the brakes...and the bus came to a sudden stop. We were in the aisle, preparing to get down to the first level of the bus LOL... i was the last person to get down,...and the worst recipient of the effect of the sudden stop. But while all this happened....there was a very cute little baby girl, who caught my eyes... she was damn damn damn damn damn cute....her eyes were like an angel's. She was standing on her mother's lap and trying to the press the Stop button, but cause of the breaking, she lost balance and was about to fall.. i mean she did fall...but somehow dont know how...she err...i mean i just put my arms forward...and luckily the girl was supported by my arms.. and then she looked at me...and smiled at me.... it was the cccccccccccccuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuttttttttttttttttttttttteeeeeeeeeeeeeeesssssssssssssssttttttttttttttt smile someone would have ever given me...although i slammed against one of the poles and in the meantime also got one of my arm stuck in the pole or was it that the girl had held me. but i
dint care.....if after all that i can get a sweeeeeet little girl to smile at me...that more than enough
i would ask from life...
hope i can get to see that girl again...

so getting back to the main story...
i reached the Hindi School late...but everything went fine....dint even get to see Chanta Marruungi....went inside classroom...for the first time ever i saw evryone doing something .... and i could have expected why...
Classes were fine....with some unusual travels to the imaginary lands with.....errr...ummm of course..u know who... ( H @ nG eD...not the one b4
well dreams are dreams...not reality...and then i would come back to my senses and find a group of nice ppl around me....
Then some of the girls arranged for a a pizza and that was also one of the main key highlights of the day...
the rest of the things went on fine... but then after school finished, someone told me about what happened last saturday....and maybe since then i was a bit annoyed..but i think that there might be some truth in it..but no...watever is there...i promise to be with u, no matter wht....(evn if u are wrong)

aahhh well its again all about complications...Each nite i think about her... and i think that time is not far when it would be unbearable. I know that, what i want will never be mine....even by the application of the most explicit logic. :( i know i know....i dont and maybe i shouldnt be dreaming of such desires, but i just cant forget it...cause i love her more than anything in this world....even though she doesnt even know abt it...wtf....
i beg
give me pls....
show some magick...
i m awaiting
cyberbeast await magick

NO SECRET MSGS TODAY.... my apologies to all those expecting readers...

Adios
Sandesh
Cyberbeast

its difficult for me to tell u that i love u....

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everything's fine now....woohooo

well now everything is fine and i am happy about it...except one thing that goes on and on in my mind....and it is something that is not so openly describable...but well i know u know about it ...
so leaving all the sad things away.... would like to talk more about what happened today...

PE lessons were usual...less FUN, but at the most got chance to be with the classmates...
during the end of PE...i was watching ...and thinking whether one day i would be able to be there....right there...
then
iSaw...iThought...iCloseMyEyes...iDreamt....and all of a sudden iPutThe BasketBallThroughTheNets four times consecutively.... maybe the presence is very energetic....i caould feel the waves... sometimes i was thinking whether i am being watched or something....but maybe it was just a thought....

Then changed.....
LangArts was ok ... and not so boring until the teacher gave us some work to do....i prefer discussion over writing...my ideas flow much easily while speaking and thinking about it thn writing...the teachers also say that i have a very "Imaginative, Innovative....and errr not to forget....CRAZY" brain....welll ya i think i do....but it doesnt really matter...cause at this point in time i dont just need a brain .... i need ....a <3 too...
Then Maths passed on as usual....laughter laughter and again more laughter....hehe... But Mr. Chia looked presentable in the new shirt....nice guy he is...but still he is worth being laughed on...and i guess he should have got WHY?? hehe nvr mind....But really he is a guy worth respecting...
Then had an interesting talk by Dr. Kenneth Tan talking about censorship, was better than the previous one... i thought maybe i will start blurting out somethings towards the end...but thought i should keep someone's comments in mind..."IT MIGHT LOOK LIKE SHOW OFF" huh....dont understand why ppl dont seem to know how basic things work....even when they use it like like helll and i mean everyday...oh ya i remembered...i have to study C++ language....i have to make up an OS till i leave VJC....
those who dont know...OS is an operating system...like Microsoft (R) Windows (R) and Linux(R)
nvr mind if u dont know me in FULL DETAIL...


but nvr mind.... i get these thoughts very often....so nothing new...HAHA

well after that was just slacking for sometime and i cant believe i managed to complete my Lang Arts work...gr8 relief....
Well thats abt it
then came back had a nice dinner....
was studying for the Physics test, which is tomorrow....i mean errr literally today...12.30 am now...
then had a little RakshaBandhan gathering @ the canteen in hostel...was quiet fun except for the part when i touched my senior's feet in RESPECT for tying me Rakhi....wats wrong with that...aaah....then i do some sms'in stuff....and i get a nice reply that just makes my day...worth living.....
thnx pooja di.....(my senior)

For ppl who dont know the secret...u can stop here...the others can continue reading....
Sayonara for them
Sandesh

Oh ya...suddenly now i have a urge to talk to someone, but no one online....so i end up updating my blog...i thought maybe err...one might be online, but wasnt....and then i realised....tht tomorrow got the PSL interviews....today also had,,.....so wished her luck for that....i really hope she makes it...well i know she will....hehehe.....

ppl like her are needed...DEAD or ALIVE....errr i mean alive and jolly good...thnx to u too...

well awaiting my new juniors....was remembering how i got selected... well nvr mind...tomorrow got physics....
Sandesh
am there.....just an sms away...or maybe for u even a breath away...

Adios
HAPPY RAKSHABANDHAN
thnx for the Rakhi Shweta didi.....i really liked it and i miss u like hell....

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hmmmmm

well...i..i dont have any words to say at this moment. Somehow i think happiness isnt me. Its just there for sake. Nvr thought today would be so bad that i would have to cry alone...ALONE...no one knows except you (the reader, no wrong interpretations or connotations please). Yesterday was like very happy happy, but today it all changed....all because of me....all because of fuckin ME....why did i have to do this...?? why ?? and now that mom is angry with me.....come back....i m sorry....!!!! i need you, please forgive me....

well nothing is getting along good with me, except for me finding a very nice friend. I enjoy talking to her.....seems to be very....errr very.....errr very sweet, polite and ya of course understanding and not to forget very different from others. As i mentioned in some of my previous posts, i seriously wish that people like her flood this earth....i wont even care if i dont get space....but i would be happy enough to see people like her there...... Oh yeah, congratulations for the award...Keep it up..I saw the different side of her yesterday, when i was going through some of her previous blogs. I have known and met many different types of girls...and i find that....girls just keep their pains with themselves....i can imagine how heavy their hearts would get with so many things... i know the boys do to...but they are able to get over it fast..., but one scratch on a girl's heart can last forever, like an incurable disease.

ummm thats all for you ppl...the others who know the secret may continue reading further
Sandesh


somethings in life are very precious but when u start cherishing them very intensely then those things start to rot ur brain...no rot isnt the correct word, FRY ur brain in hot oil......oh well and errr...ya i wont make up any of those freakin recipes from now on....,,,,where was i...yes...
the same thing is happenin with me...i just don't seem to understand the chain of rules of life...... i feel like being independent of them...but sometimes it is imprtant if u see from someone else's view....

Why dont people want to be with me.....what is it that they dont want me to do?? i m also like u. Dont judge me on the basis of judging some of my counterparts who are not a bit like me. Trust me i am not like them.

Why cant be everyone be like her...why???

Well never mind, all these things will keep on happening...and i will still keep on hoping that all this sadness is being stored for surprising happy elements of life in future.
Found this interesting thought though

"Dont worry about the day when the world will end, dont care about the future....cause its already tomorrow in Australia."
"Bring it on"..i m impressed...

sandesh
love u mom
sorry

:)

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ummmm...

welll today was not such a good day, but dunno why i started enjoyin it somehow in the middle of the day.....maybe i forgot some things*. HUHHHHH......errrr never mind. well everything was ok as long as i got my BIO ppr. dont want to talk much about that...but yeah...i was thinking about what friendship really means to me, and i wondered....whether U would like to be my friend, yes u, i mean u, will u be the friend of my dreams please, my best friend....if the intended person gets the message, please send me a yes through MSN pls...i will be waiting.....i want to be in any relationship as possible with someone...and i think i would prefer, no in fact stick to friendship (after looking @ the things tht happened some fays before). iwant u...i need u...please just send me a YES...

as usual ppl commented, but i dint care......why should i?? hehe..... Oh ya now gotta do an animation for a competition.......

love u
CyberBeast @ VJC

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HUHHHHH

i am very sad about one things thats been like common with me for the entire life. Not just one thing, more than one actually, why in the world,does it have to happen...i do do do do do d, i doodododood but at the end of the day what i actually get is nowhere near to what i should get...WH WHY WHY.....even, *** likes someone else, i nvr knew *** already had a clique......oh god hard and sad.....found a new friend these days, someone from the Hindi School and i guess ppl like them should be more in numbers on this planet......err...but thats not in my control....Thanx for support though...felt nice to tell her...what i felt about somethings.....and my god she is damn good @ guessing....she even guessed***. umm....hehe...but i also did to.....hehhe...obviously got it wrong lah,.......

errr....oh gotta do some work now

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Three seconds....what tha hell???

those freakin 3 seconds...... freaked my life up. i dont feel like talking to anyone but her.... just her....but i know its like way to difficult for that to happen...but may what i just like feel like talking to anyone...but hahaha
wont ever forget those F-word + ing 3 seconds. and moreover those ppl who got into dint even know programming....

but nvr mind..gave me time to reflect upon what i can and what i want to achieve,,,....

haha
i feel like playying CS now...

bye bye

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