well...quite a long time since i have seen this screen
but why am i not being surprised abt it*
is it too melodramatic to happen or is it just
that its not supposed to be happenin with me..

i m not getting the responses i want
and its not because of just "that"
but maybe i might be thinking wrong about it...

i thought it would have been happier
maybe i could have gotten the "congratulations" msg
hopes are dying
and blackness is stirring in

blackness....!!!!okay i dint mean that lol
but still its no better than that...

instances could have been shaped more meaningfully and
perhaphs beautifully
althought beautiful is not the primary element for
the scenario since the the highest level of beauty is already in the
situation...


well i dont know what is happening around...
but i know

Sandesh
loves

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well...today was Ppl centered fun...not centered though...but cornered i guess..haha..
well i know thats lame...but cant really help it...lol

haha the day was quite ok lah
no jinxes..no curses... for me...I WISH
well got a lot of instances
whereby it was like VISIBLE and
i pretended to be my mysterious MR. X again..
haha..quite cool

change of moods is reflective...
but conveys....

day started as usual...everything went on fine in the morning...
assembly...
forget V26 keys...was worried like freak abt tht throughout the day
u..
staircase..
instances..
electives hub...
breakout...
group
praxis..
that was it..
and that is Financial Litera(ture)cy
i hate arts.....boooooo
well

so ya...am i trying to be different..or have i really become one...
some say i am trying....not saying showing ME
some say...ya say...i m becoming...

why ...
maybe the environment
has a huge influence....
a freakin huge influence

sometimes i feel i cant live without
but at the same time are the one hurts....

variable words shift the indication..
i know i make things damn freakin complicated...but
sometimes you just gotta accept it...accept that it is not possible to win


win the race...

to the path..
cyberbeast stuff....impressing me all day long...

well i guess the "change" was necessary...really necessary for my life...
its now become "the essentiality of the age...

lol
wtf..

but yes..


its hard to say..
but i miss you..
nvr mind...

wth...

loves...
SaNdEsH says he's osrry to all those whom he troubled...become a pest for...anyone...

thanx...

maybe the most important connotation for this is for only one person but holds validity for many others too...



take care...
nice to see "everyone" happy...

the biggest idea today...
"Money to impress others" is a sucker's game
i m changing
i m sorry
i miss you..

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hahahahahah
wooohooo
yipeeeeee

hahahaha

am enjoying it....
dont ask me wad,...
i like this game....
really do

keeps you connected...
in some ways or the other....
on the serious side...

thats all i want...
just that connection....
moderated from the other side....
but strongest from my port...
thats wad friends really are....
at least for me...

thank you thank you....
you just gave me the biggest hint .... thank you...
that was all i needed...


cant forget....
woohoo
day was fine....
went out roller blading @ ECP with
a really nice person not to forget a very very beautiful person...
influence of arts maybe...

played a very interesting...AOM battle...
on of the most memorable...
dint win though...but also dint let the others kill me easily....
thats the code....the plan
always have a backup plan...no matter what...
if you dont...create one...
if the other is a casualty.... dont leave hr alone..nvr...

learn that...and remember that...

since i have already revealed what i shouldnt have...
its upto you to get it....
maybe only the "concerned" person will get it...

cause as they say

Impossible is nothing...cause it itself says...
I
M
Possible....


LOL

tomorrow is gonna be fun....the IP will be doing a part of Cyberbeast stuff....
show them who you are....
shock em...


loves and dont forget to add a prefix to it.....maybe tons, megs, gigs..... a hell lot than one can imagine it...
thats me...


incase the reply was for me...thnx....maybe till now you might have got the idea that all the above mentioned happiness was because of you LOL....haha

thanx.... friend...

SaNdEsH

he who always "was" and never "is" but dreams for the "will"

dont get it...?????? dont worry.... thats me...
no one knows me...

people know the known and i am unknown

CyberBeast rising.....

<3>

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hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahah
i cant stop laughing.....

making references can be fun
puhleez do not think writing all this crap for you

hahahahah

got a sad side too....but i know whats gonna happen
so i better KEPT it to me...lol

haha

well
something hurtful....but definitely funny...

today was very very boring...
Got up at 4.30am ....decided to go for a walk....

was damn nice...
i was thinking about stuff...and i guess at some moments
i was thinking too much about it...i really cant stop thinking about it...
maybe things will change now....A BIG MAYBE @ that...lol
sipping 100 PLUS and playing with someone's pet dog was fun....

came back....and went to Hindi School to collect results....wth...
i dont wanna see that
expectations too high....
output is always low...

came back
had lunch...

played AOM with the others...quite fun lah.....then watched CSI and had dinner...
played again

went up...to check
ended up in a big blast of laughter....hahahaha

hey hey nice one, if those lines were for me...then maybe i should be rightful in justifying myself...
whatever bullshit i write here doesnt or to be truthful very irrelevant to you...seriously...i dont get it
why everyone...and you too end up thinking it s about you....oh god.........wth...
even then...i cant resist to apologize...for the earlier...things... cmon
you know the truth....








aaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh

it hurts...loves
SaNdEsH

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well it cant get any better than this
you feel as if you are going towards the correct road....
and suddenly in the middle of nowhere you realise that nothing is right.... wth

i just cant seem to forget it....i dont know
it happened so suddenly...

wth


i dont understand who that "thing" is directed towards....maybe maybe
i dont know...*
all i can say.... wth..

acts of ignorance are clearly visible...
reconciliation is not how it goes...
once lost is lost forever....haha...(sadly)

wth..

but i wont ever ever ever 4get..
never....it was different...the air...the life...everything...
all i wanted to have was very simple...
and maybe i was right in demanding it too...
but somehow....as usual i m never supposed to get it... so now i freakin decide to suicide...(of course not in real lah)

i have taken the decision...the decision to stop it all....everything
maybe its time for me to re conciliate with someTHING...
i am trying...my best...but somehow.....its difficult to express...

its just natural..
wth..

today was the third...

i know..its not intentional
its not even wrong, i guess...everyone has reasons...whether they are valid or not is a different thing...but ....
wth...

its filling me upto my throat...
i m breakin down...why...??

am i supposed to be always deprived like this....maybe not anymore...

although not many have noticed the change in me....perhaps its good for me only...but
wth...

erm...
i am not going to delete my tagboard....
it is the sole representer and maybe to some extent true..LOL

but after all this
i must learn to get out....
i have the life vest..but i feel like removing it
and see for myself what it really feels to be INDEPENdANt

...haha
wth...

many days have passed and i guess i will say it out today

thanx...

thanx for being a part of my life....all those things do really matter for me...no matter what
i cant forget them...time passes on and we all have to accept the things...and the way they go...
cant really help it
m not blaming or stamping on someone's forehead...
everyone has something for someone...
and i guess i have heard that...
people get angry over others only if they care about them....

so basically i guess lookin at the positive terminal i guess i dont need to think so much about it...
but to be very honest...it did freak me out like hell
and all i ever wanted to communicate is some magick words which (although i know wouldn't have)...wth...
nvr mind...

incompleteness is in...

re-conciliation is OUT....

oppsite leh...but i am not thinking about it anymore...not till now atleast...

the original post was something else actually, but since you did not want to see me
saying certain things...
i edited the post...

and erm ya...maywhat...

i still do...
so ya...

dont worry i can get over it...


somethings that were told initially makes me feel that i m in the same situation...
maybe ...
wth..
but still then all that matters is you being happy...

i m sorry mom...i dint get it to you...
i fuckin failed to do that...
:(

i just cant see it anymore..i just cant

{[(and ya...i respect you more than i love you...coz you are someone special...someone way to different....to find your way through my....}])
three different contexts....but definitely true for y'all

i m not sad,,,....contradictory to what people are assuming i am...but i m just not SO happy about the way things are turning out into....

maybe i have to change...i am incapable...
i m responsible for this...

let me repent it...

loves
SaNdEsH (and guys...pls...there's nothing meaningful in interpreting SaNdEsH....there is no link with my name to any of the things...)

tk cr...
i m happy u r back again....
cheers
woohoo













MOOD
:*(

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haha
hahahaha
hahahahahaha

thats what i felt after somethings

morning was quite ok...
received an unexpected certificate for the Mobile Animation Challenge...lol

watched Sin City (the left part) like twice in the morning...
people were coming in class...trying to show off...saying somethings ..

got physics and maths..
quite ok ok...lah
not so bad...

i love black shiny reflective surfaces...
allows you t forsee things...
maybe even give the others ideas about it..
but very very slightly...

haha..
it was then...that i observed something

something that can only be best described in the following words...
"an observation of the best possible element of perfect cuteness..."
yup yup
thats how you can go about it..lol

Sandesh
take care

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today everything was different...
way too different..

i was happy (i mean even after.... )
maybe i should go like this...

morning was ok ok...made some plans for the day...
was thinking and thinking...
school was pretty fine...
SIN CITY rocks..woohoo..only wish Ms. Sandhya could have let us watch a bit more of the movie...
But nvr mind the class is borrowing the movie...so ya will watch it completely then...

well today...after i came to know...i wanted to press the SEND button in the morning...
i couldnt even at the end of the day...
i mean i was literally scared that something worse (of course wrong) could have have been interpreted...
something was not allowing me to press the SEND button..something...
i was even about to go ask kndn whether i should press the button or not...!!!
but then i reflected on the fact that...i mean...maywhat the others or even she might be thinking...
(which is not true...) i mean i know what is true and what is not...
a concern is a concern, you really cant prevent it to occur..
people are important to me...i dont care what they think of me...
especially some...
in a flash...i pressed the SEND button...i dint care a heck about the consequences...
i felt it..i mean i really pictured the look...couldnt have been more disgusted than this...
haha...but was definitely funny...

well people were busy today...or at least it seemed to...
some in class matters...(alrite get over it sandesh)
some in personal life...
some in just nothingness....(complete silence over emptiness....)

but i wanted to just try out something...something that
could have made things worse...awfully worse

although i m not expecting a reply or anything of that sort...
i do get the indirect message that something is really gonna be bad...(not related to what i have been talking about lately)

but, i can take it as another risk or maybe 0.5% potential risk...
i love taking risks...whether its with my own life....(even more if its mine for somebody...people i guess could have recognised...this>>)

missin ya tons and gigs...
SaNdEsH
Take Care...(decided on something new....the old style made people infer wrong things out of it...)

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