Hey life...
How to start today's post??? How?? I dont really know eh...

but maybe this would work..



in the morning, i was a BAD guy, but towards the end of the day, and following the course of the events that happened before the end...just changed my perspectives about things...


well lets go to the details...


morning was quite hectic...today was the IP open house...and i was the presenter for the same elective as last year...and therefore, i had a very "interesting time" playing with the NXT Bluetooth robot which somehow was "attractive" in its own way...and giving a very short presentation about the elective which dint really convey anything about the elective, though. i mean, come on there is nothing you can present for such an elective.... never mind...lets skip that part...

its actually during this time, that i found some people, who were, just in a world similar to me...very very similar to me...
thank god (although i dont believe in god, but still, its part of my language still..so for the sake of it..),
thank god, gerald and renjie were in the same room as me...
so ya...could pass time...
and somemore..
met Nv and L there...
haha...


key highlights..
baloons tied to my hair, to my spectacles, to my robot...lolz...and of course they were all around the electives hub.
lol
haha

and then it all started with lunch...
we all went to have lunch together...in the canteen..
that was the first instance, that reminded me of somethings...something that cant be forgotten throughout this entire journey in life...i mean, yes...i had a gut feeling that something good was going to happen today...and luckily it turned out to be the best in that sense...


well, after the second cycle for the Open House, we all had a fun time putting back the posters... so ya

were joined by the other ip1 guys there...


from there...it all started....just like, when in the beginning of movies, they have a "moderately old" song introducing the important ppl in the movie...
trying to decide what to do next...we ended up doing extra stuff...lol

decided to go mandarin gardens and have dinner at TP
went there...tried to book the soccer court...couldnt...ended up playing basketball with this "ang mo" guy who seemed to have a "fairly" nice tatoo on his legs...lol
and Nv, i have to accept, you play well...you ROCK...
i know i might have underestimated you, a bit only lah...but i did, and you have completely proved me wrong...

and i played...like shit aah...never aim properly..
but i guess, it was all coz of someone around...lol
distraction...

???




MAYBE

so ya...then
had a nice li'l dinner at TP and a very very interesting game of Truth or Dare!!!
haha i need the videos...

kndn got kissed by janice..
haha
5 seconds somemore..
lol

haha
haha

after failed attempts to decide where to go next (that includes, TmPs Mall, ECP, MPCL, lolz VJ???))
haha
then we decided to go VS, play basketball

had a very hilarious match..
got people falling down...people calling each other "clarence"....people throwing balls at each other's faces, people hitting the edge of the board (behind the ring), lol
haha

was damn funny...somemore...couldnt even see anyone in the dark..and i took off my shirt...
haha...FUNNY right...lol....but ya, jokes are supposed to taken in the right sense...which i guess i am doing right now...
was really fun..


after i see'd all of 'em off, i realised that i was actually "happY'
i mean yes...thats exactly what it means...

came back, played basketball alone for a while..
and thought about today...


today was indeed special for me...i mean, its like one of those times, that i have really enjoyed with my heart...just fully into it...



i mean, for a moment right...i actually felt as i was with my friends back in India.

and well...i think maybe someone was mostly responsible for this...but i am not actually thinking about it...
hmm



just love that feeling...




in short...
today, was like
a tinge of love, new and ole' friends, memorable times...
and of course..that face...

it all makes me a good person at the end of it all...
and i am happy, all this happened today...






seeing forward to more of these outings...unplanned..

lolz

haha



thnx life...
thnx Nv
lh
en
zhngfng
clrnce
andrw





:)
Sandesh
tkcare

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please revive me...
i beg you...
its too much for me...
really...





i know its difficult but i am not asking for something too big....is it??


i cant breathe...
all i see is a pool of tears around me..

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do you realise that you just killed me??
i saw that expression on your face...today..

i saw the secret "hidden" gestures

well, if my death is what you wanted..
there you have it now..
all i wanted was...
a...

maybe just a little.... with that
but i guess, you have too much to share..

and well, ya i know your feelings wont be the same...
never..

but i'll be the same..
my physical self will be there..

but i guess, you will have other so called "self"s
for that purpose..

hate myself..
why?? why?? why??
why me??

i mean, did i lag behind..

i dint had any right to live...
not a single right..
i mean, come on, i am not even a good person...





i am shattered..
to pieces..
in pieces...

i knew this would happen...
and i guess, i everyone knew that
the burden would be too much for me...

maybe these tears that i am shredding now...

would be reflective of everything...
from the beginning..


well...guess, i was wrong somewhere...
hate myself..

:(
forgive me if you please...


FUCK THIS GOD DAMMED WORLD..

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heya



those looks, those feeling in the heart,
those tight expressions..
suggesting to doubt myself...

i mean, apart from all "that"
my basic aim in life is to become a GOOD PERSON...

and the person, whom i could think was the best
possible person around me, who could tell me the about my progress towards my aim....

seems to be DISPLOMATIC...

but if thats the way, i guess, my progress isnt that much...i mean according to the reply..
but i thought i am progressing in that direction already.

i'll try asking the same person the same question after another 6 months...coz
i guess, or should i say, I believe in that person, to an extent that even this life is rather unnecessary..


but guess..
it'll take time for me to understand somethings...that are waiting to be communicated to me..
and suggesting that...
it isnt really possible to achieve the state that i am trying to achieve in partnership with you.


engel,
i can know all the things running aroung your mind, like a restless child running in a garden..
but maybe reception is the ability i am limited too..

but its instilled in me..
to...

to...
to...






aaarrrrhhh

Ich habe wollte immer jemand, jemand, das mich verstehen kann, jemand wissen und verstehen, das eine einzigartige Einzelperson unter der Masse sein kann jemand gerade wie mein schöner Engel. die Welt versteht nie meine Liebe.

ich liebe Dich, meine Schwester.

went ECP cycling...after a gap of 4 days...
went to the NEW spot...and circled 10 times around "that"....marking somebody i just love to call..

the 10 times represents something...(*(*with proper spacing and punctuation[ifany]*)*)
waiting for your hand to reach me..

waiting for your words...
waiting for you to say it again..
" i'll always be your sister "


LINKIN PARK
The Little Things Give You Away

Water grey

Through the windows, up the stairs

Chilling rain

Like an ocean everywhere

Don't want to reach for me do you

I mean nothing to you

The little things give you away

And now there will be no mistaking

The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under water

I Do

Hope decays

Generations disappear

Washed away

As a nation simply stares

Don't want to reach for me do you

I mean nothing to you

The little things give you away

But there will be no mistaking

The levees are breaking

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under water

I Do

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

And six feet under ground now

I Now I do

Little things give you away

Little things give you away

Little things give you away

Little things give you away

Little things give you away

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

All you've ever wanted

Was someone to truly look up to you

(Little things give you away)

LINKIN PARK

In Pieces

Telling me to go

But hands beg me to stay

Your lips say that you love

Your eyes say that you hate

There's truth in your lies

Doubt in your faith

What you build you lay to waste

This truth in your lies

Doubt in your faith

All I've got's what you didn't take

So I, I won't be the one

Be the one to leave this

In pieces

And you

You will be alone

Alone with all your secrets

And regrets

Don't lie

You promise me the sky

Then toss me like a stone

You wrap me in your arms

And chill me to the bone

There's truth in your lies

Doubt in your faith

All I've got's what you didn't take

So I,

I won't be the one

Be the one to leave this

In pieces

And you

You will be alone

Alone with all your secrets

And regrets

Don't lie

So I,

I won't be the one

Be the one to leave this

In pieces

And you

You will be alone

Alone with all your secrets

And regrets

Don't lie

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trying...
trying to analyze the words...
those words... are so deep...
so deep..
woven with the delicate fabric..


maybe...
the biggest possibility that i can think...

is that

maybe you still...

maybe..










i dont know..















hate myself...
just hate
myself...


is it that the characters keep on changing in your words or is it really me..???
i wonder...






Sandesh
:(

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well there was a reason...

there is a reason....

there will always be a reason...

and yet again, i will overlook it...and try to bring down the world.

while walking back from school today, i took the route less travelled by..

well people noticed changes in me....but i guess, i am too shy to tell them the reason...

i mean, i am quite sure about the story but guess...

the happily ever after part hasnt come out yet...

but when it does so...

i would be crying..

i dont really know about the others...but all i know is that i would be wishing i had done something....just that something, to show you, how much it means...

i mean, its just so contemporary

no one's benfactor here, and things are confusing, but in the terms of realisation, i guess, its quite important, cause the air has really become humid. Well...

yes, i know i am burning like hell, inside me..

coz...as always, all those things that i deserve to have is what i am not getting..

maybe, now i feel how it must have been for YOU.. (dddddd), somemore, you were even more

possessive.

i just hate myself..

i mean, after all the wrond that i have done, am i expecting a warm, gentle, clean world back again..??? am i expecting love?? am i even expecting happiness in the basicity of the complex usage of terms???

maybe yes...

maybe not...

DONT BE SURPRISED IF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND ANYTHING OF THE ABOVE..

bye bye world

cia l8r...

going off on a looooonnnnnnnnnnnngggggggggg vacation...

keep in touch..

hate myself..all coz of

it..

Sandesh

:(

LOVE CAN CHANGE A PERSON TO AN EXTENT,

THAT CAN BRING DOWN THE WHOLE WORLD..

the world isnt even the limit for me... i can do beyond. Try me..

waiting for the week to end...

waiting for the next conversation...the next talk....the next exchange of words...and maybe the CARE

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allrite..
should i now find reasons to kill myself, or should i just live in a world of frenzy that leads nowhere but to a sphere bloody surprises that are so predictable but never the less, not expected from people. I mean should i really find a reason..??
things are on the right track, i guess...and yes, perhaphs i have changed myself, maybe for the good of myself, or maybe even for you..

but does it really make a difference, i mean,
would the world even care about the connections or even the only "line" that was drawn between 2 points. i mean, its alright for me, life hasnt really been worth thanking for, in some ways.

i mean, i stress again, its always me saying the part "Stop, i'll get the bomb, you get the girl"...
but the world really thinks that i am the guy saying "set". for WHAT... i mean, yes i might want to do both the things, coz at the end of the day it all leads to the same result.

INPUT > OUTPUT and a hell lot > than what can be just inferred from the words..
but maybe its unlikely that i am going to get what i have always been waiting for...

people from my past life are coming back to "this" life again, and i am foolish enough to actually give 'em another chance...but i guess, i do feel what it means to be given another chance..



i mean, i agree with nj that, maybe people do lag behind in showing their true emotions and dont really understand it...unless you miss 'em...
but i guess, the "miss 'em" part isnt how i want it to be expressed...
and i guess, people wont really realize until the very very end...
and

it would have been too late...then..

i do care you know...
i mean regardless, of anything...
maybe thats what i would have done..

nvr mind..


well these days i find myself hugging my pooh
a lot...
but guess...

my intentions would always be doubted...
nvr mind..
exceptions are something that people really find difficult to understand...(i mean apart from the fact that, thats the reason they are called "exceptions"...but still)



well i dont really have anything to say,
still in the dark...




well, angel,
i dont know whether anything on this planet will last till the end..
but all i know is there is something that will last forever in me...
something..
something...
that will never be lost...
coz its truely unconditional on my side..

















REFLECT on it..


cia
tk care

adios
Sandesh
:(

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