aaah...
well i dont know why, but i am not able to get my impression on her...why why why....i m falling apart...dunno what to do...i know u are in trouble too, but triangles are formed like this wht...and maybe i would like to cancel away the twist by backing out my self. But this time, i really dont feel like...and 99% i wont. But i still fear that 1% that might force me to. I know u wont ever like me, cause i am supposed to be the UNliked person, i know...neither do i want u to...i mean i dont have any desires of making you mine...all i know is that i love u, and thats all that i really care for... at this point...what i would like to say to u is that...whatever decision u took rite,...just stick to it, i mean i think that has to be the best way out....no doubts...but just one last time....maybe b4 u format everything....just ask..maybe it might help cause lemme tell ya, someone has to be very lucky to be liked by u...even though u dont like me, i can feel it...(i dont know what that "it" is, but is definitely addictive and strong). One of my friends also going through the same period...and i think i would definitely support her in watever decision she makes...but even to her.. think b4 u do anything... aaahh complications in chaos...to find order out of disorder is the only solution. I freakin guess.
Took a li'l break from studyin and am updating mah blog but i think, i should prefer studying...
well today was an ok ok day...

Started with a joyful morning (except for a touch of sadness that remained throughout the day....di angry with me...dunno why:( ummmmmm). Then saw u, cheered up a bit...
Caught up with friends and did my presentation in the library....
All of us decided to do something different today,....and somehow my suggestion worked hehe..
so basically that is how the first hour passed without much interruptions.....except for me being carrrrrrriiiiiiiiiieeeed away from reality, thinkin about things which are never supposed to be happenin...and somewhat distracted..

then came back class...attended BIO...horrible as usual....was boring.so felt sleepy...but had my mints with me...so somehow prevented it...but that dint stop me from thinking abt her...
aaahahaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

in the break saw u and van too (not together lol) but atleast one after the other...stopped then and there...closed my eyes....and did something....and fortunately i could see both of u....sometimes life puts u in situations where u want to stick to both the options available, but u cant prevent from choosing one...
i was like that...
worse....
she came and talked to me.....aaaaah.....i melted....heard her voice in ages...(err..not really though...heard yesterday only wht...but still lets continue lah)...and then had brunch....then came back attended chem and maths....(still thinkin abt her in btween) then in the break b4 electives try to help van out of something....i mean after everything...i am still there for her...and i cant let her be sad cause of something that maybe, i can change... so basically i contacted ppl from 14 to help her...cause i dint want her to sacrifice her marks...for like 20 others..(excluding me and someothers) who dint even know what she was doing...although i tried my best, but couldnt do anything....then had to do the EVIL way...Mind me aah...but i dont care what i become, if it comes to helping ppl i admire, respect...or maybe i l _ _ e(d). The marks are being reconsidered...and i am waiting for tomorrow...to see what happens...although indirectly lah, but the 14 guys have promised that she would not need to sacrifice her marks for us...and basically i feel proud...cause although i dint say that to her...but maybe i am her strongest supporter lol..
then had my Electives Presentation....am happy electives ended...the teacher remained stinned after having a mini discussion of my computing and programming skills and abilities....hehe..but on top of everything...the first thing i tried to do, after school ended..was to think ..to reflect and derive a conclusion...and i have it now...
haha

btw vjcwlan rox... (feeling damn sian..so just random lol)

am sipping in hot coffee and trying to relax and not think about u...but even then....u so somehow come in my minds....hehe
well in conclusion

van, dont worry...i wont keep quiet until u are given justice
Nh, do not think abt what happend in the past...stick to what is happenin now...dont let ur past bother u....i felt bad after reading ur blog post....and that i wished i could talk to u face to face...(i really hope, to do that....but...hehe) and ur friend is rite i guess...but think b4 u take any decision...
<3, well u just keep on haunting me.....i dont mind...infact i enjoy it....but remember what i told u...
and di...please dont be angry with me...i m sorry...
k?
and btw, for y'all i m always there to support u...no matter what....cause u mean more than ppl to me....someone(s) more profound..
hehe


love u
Sandesh
Bbye
tc
sweet dreams
3only...what that is...will be coming up in the next post...