i am sorry...


i wont be expressive any more....
if that is what you want.


i wont do any such thing that would hurt you or make you angry...
may it be this..


but please talk to me...
there are so many things left to do..
and such a weird time has come by...

but really dont want to tell anyone about it..
but i guess...i wont be able to hide it from you.....


its a bit strange...
why suddenly times change..
i mean it has happened before too...


but i am rather against the concept of bad time...and in fact i support that
all these "acts" are being done for a good reason...
maybe so that i learn and do better in life..


but i just cant hide...

well...
i m waiting for the bulb to glow...
coz at the moment, there is a tide in my eyes, that is refusing to go away,
which is making me blind...
and thus i cant find the switch myself...



i need someone..
help me..

i am helpless...


maybe even in this field and mood of sadness...
i would like to thank you for all that you are doing for me...
maybe in a different way though....but i still accept the fact that (maybe) its being done keeping in mind, of my development...



i have given up hopes on the others...but i am happy that...at least there is someone to count on..
this moment just doent seem to end...


but there is one thing...that i really wanna share...
i mean, maywhat the situations be...
i have always been puzzled by the statements...
things going completely opposite to each other...

how i used to wish...i could be,
but i guess....its just me..
i am never supposed to get anything that i have desired..


makes me quite weak in that sense..
the more i try to ignore it...
the more it runs towards me...


my assumptions have been proved wrong...
the negligence to past incidences....

but guess...in the end i am not supposed to get anything...


in the end..
in the f'ing end...
to my desires...

i'll let life take control of me and let it go in the direction it wants to take me..
i wont say a word...


but i guess, i should have deserved better..





its so heavy...so so
sad
and painful...




but i still dream of the perfect(ion)
u still are the angelic sis you ised to be for me...
i will change myself...
the only thing that will remain unchanged is my love
set out on a dream...that was born out of mere sparks...
and i am happy...that i am able to contribute to the spark..





love you...
i know care isnt that i should be expecting..dont worry..
i understand that part too..


every single action or word tells me everything...
thats how much...




Sandesh
:(




the very thought makes me cry...
suddenly woke up around at 4am in the morning today...after a sleepless night (yet again)
i was sweating like shit...but i dint care about anything...
i couldnt stop myself from crying...
and hugging my Pooh!!!
generating hope in my heart....i sms'd to keep myself from crying...
but guess..you havent still 4g**** me..



help me kick this time..
i want to throw it away from my sight..




wish i can regain all the thoughts, and feelings..

Sandesh
:(