just got up after a sleepless night...
it was horrible last night..

i cried
for like 45 minutes..ystrday..
(as if ANYONE cares..)

my act of selflessness is putting me in a very awkward position...


slept without the P last night...
and i could feel the emptiness in my arms..

still shocked about what i came to know yesterday..

but i dont know...




guess...no one will ever understand the extent to which i love
and at the end of the day, it will a become a topic of laughter and jokes..
and taken very lightly....

but why would anyone want to understand...




i m depressed and i really dont know what to do.
its really not in me to be angry...(for a long time)

why dint i get a heart attack last night...and just just die..??


i dont wanna talk about anything else...

but dont worry...
my role wont suffer because of this..

i will still be selfless...and try my best to bear all the "forced" behaviour of people.

anyways for ppl...who are interested...
my second birthday today..actually third..
this one according to the Hindu calender...

so basically hpy birthday to myself...
and wish...i dont get any more shocks and surprises for brtday gifts..


i am quite happy celebrating it myself..

maybe i will go ECP and spend some time myself...
take this as an invitation...
and prove me wrong..


coz
i really cant take this "ACTS" of "things"
i want REAL thoughts and actions and feelings...


nvr mind...
i wanted to send the sms again
but guess....ppl wont have time,
so maybe it wont be such a good idea...

:(
Sandesh