haha
nvr thought it would become so fun...

guys guys...i m doing a project aiming to make Web 2.0 more safer and first things that i have to study about is blogs since it is the best user to user direct platform for communications. currently at this stage i am programming a small software that allows me to track serial informations using the type of strings used in a blog...more specifically like those used for tagboards...

so ya...l8r i will have to do much more than that...

bt i have been getting some funny results too..

the first person to react to this was Nh...haha...i knew i should have told her about this b4 and likewise to all the ppl whose blogs i have been using...

funny...right..
but in a way... the suspense was gr8... for some..

But a few of 'em who i guess got a bit 'angry' tried doing stuff on their own blog so basically, it helped to learn more about a concept that i can implement in the software. Specifically, what if the same string is typed from two different ends...(computers)...my program would go haywire if this thing happened...so i have to focus on that...and all credits go to Nh for letting me no of a neg. for my program. THNX for that..

next was amn, he thought it was one of his old 'missing' friends...he dint panic much...but was shocked to know that i was spamming his tagboard too... haha...coz he assumed that MEE,...hahaa....was a girl and he wanted to go out with her...hahahahaha
hahaha
laughs and laughs and laughs..

so ya...my project is turning out so dramatically...but i think i should really consider telling the others b4 doing something like this...lol..or can become BIG freakin misunderstandings..

haha...

so in the end last nite i decided to tell v11, v12 that i had been spamming..today i'll tell the others...hhahahaha

but that doesnt mean the spamming will stop...i need to test my program until is fully finished..so u can expect more shout outs from MEE....

there's a reason i chose the name MEE...since it sounds so so...i dont know...but it sounds funny...
gt it rhn???

so ya...

btw....thnx everyone for helping me..

i gotta rush to the club..
got some friends waiting there...

bye
tk care


and Nh, pls dont react like the way you did...
it was indeed shocking..

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well its really difficult to judge people solely on "the" basis...
as what we always do...

well i have another guest for my lists today...

i knew this person since a very long time, my judgments of course being in favor of everyone.....i always knew that one instance would, infact all that was needed to sum it all up...and i got that instance some days ago...

well....am trying to know more about the person...as according to me the person is in "the list"....i mean yes, the person is different....why?why? why was that sense of "make you cry" innocence made me think about all that i could about the person...i mean i have seen that look on many faces....but this time i guess....the eyes...

well life's complicated and i guess something with the person is too...dont know....looks like...person got a lot of things to say....maybe the person is saying it out too....but never the less...the grief of "IT" is never contemplated to the extreme core of expressions...
well...i really dont understand...

but i guess...i will trust the person...

well Happy Bday abhishekh, lol..
ya i know it was all random,,...but its ok...

met the guys and some gals'
had the time of my life....
accompanied by the instance of meeting the 'person'...

and yah....i was being watched by two fearsome eyes....
i still remember ...
"I'have mah eyes on u..." hope this makes it even more clearer...

lol


well...
i spent some time helping out somebody as mentioned in the last post. and btw thnx for letting me...haha...

and i will try to rejoice everything by...contemplating trust with the element of a bit of love and and an extra mixture of friendship...... to get over it..

come online soon...
dont just sit back there....cause i am there..
always there...wht..

lol

now whose this erm fella...
dude/dudette reveal yourself....


haha
for the moment ..


SaNdEsH
Take Care

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i dont know...

everytime i read up...
i feel like going in front of her and talking everything out...
and pull her out of her misery..

but everything isnt just so easily possible as it seems so..
i know i have given up the hopes...

but still i am a caring person and i just cant resist...
not at least for you..

i dont know...what all is going around you...

but it does seem relevant to assume that you are in a very happy environment...apart
from some hitches...that are normal in happy environments too....



i m trying to be as simple as possible here...


ever since the connection broke,
the short circuit.... fried my brain, tempting me to talk to you...
but i was scared...

scared that another piss off...might turn into sudden death...

i thought of alternatives...
i knew they had to work....but in a way they are motivating me to do something great..

i will do it....
and at least for once...b4 the last breath...

i will disclose the TRUTH....that at the moment...

erm.... only like about 1.5 people know of...

well ya....sarcasm is ruling in....
and red is stabilizing

but i m still confused...

talked to Kndn after a very very long time...(not in such a long time lah...but even then...LONG)
well i guess....

Timbuktu is a very nice place to live in..
maybe you should settle over there...with wife and children... (as well wife ovr there already)


lol
lol

just kidding...

so
i m having some fun time at the moment...
busy doing the SSEF project.....hoping that i would be unblocked...
and programming the updated version to one of my company's word processor.

well i m missing you to the core....trust me...

i want to help....



lol



SaNdEsH
missin ya..

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well...
i was trying to see and put up my views too...
but i guess it could become a bit too direct and NOT so good...
since it would indicate one thing for sure....

ofcourse i am not gonna tell you that..

so here i m...

all by myself...
trying to find a way out...
getting weird references and indications.... from some ppl..
putting it up...

just for YOU...

is it that i want the same "OLD" things back
or am
i aiming for the old thing with new perspectives and expectations

well both ways i guess the final result should be the same

aaaahhh...
its all so bad...everything

but i can only trust you..
ur word is law...but when you never utter...

its like hell for me..

i hope i am able to pass on the message to you properly...
cause even though you dont know about 'it'...no one does...actually..
except...

me of course..

i would want you to know cause...








and thus it continues...



SaNdEsH
Namaste...




lol

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yo
everything is so...so...

cunningly planned...
and what is the last thing you can expect....

something that is supposed to make you lucky is making you unlucky..

(btw....after reading the previous statement please dont assume i m in love with astrology or something.....ASTROLOGY SUX......sux more than.....more than....the suckiest thing in this world)

well i dont mind trying to tell the others...
but just that its very hard...

i had a very DIFFERENT kinda dream some nites ago...
i still cant figure it out...how in the freakin world can i dream of something..
something so delicately beautiful....i mean...

after waking up i felt as if the dream was some kind of...errr teaser...
the dream did tease me...

but that was the closest (and perhaps the best) imitation i have ever seen...

NOT Just An ImiTAtion.

haha...well never mind...dreams are dreams..
and for some people i guess i need to pass this message again...

I dont want any of the things i see in my dreams...

well never mind.. i guess...ego is the benefactor here...
LOL

well...suddenly out of nowhere (thnx Jay!!)....i got back one of my favourite games...

UNREAL TOURNAMENT.... woohoo...
it rox to the CORE...

and it should...
well i am planning to buy Unreal Tournament 3, after being mentally attacked by about 5 versions of the game..

UT ROX..

well everyone...i have been tracking down my blogger account a bit and the pop seems to be a bit low...
well lets leave that topic.

so how are you guys?....maybe just drop in a comment or a quick reply in the shout box....


Sandesh
UT freak


the change is in....and YOU cant do anything about it....
but that doesnt mean
that
i

dont
.....
...



and so it continues...

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haha
well...its all so contradictory, you expect something you get something else...
but
in a way its better for your self...

so now i am in India....Incredible India as the Tourism Board tags it..lol..

well surprises are all that i have been getting and when i say surprises....it includes the whole range from bad ones to the good ones...

left for grandma's place soon after landing in India to celebrate diwali.....was....fun...the firecrackers, the sweets....evrything...
missed SOME people like hell...which l8r proves out to be nothing at all...

LOL

so much of travelling made me sick...and i wasnt well throughout the journey.....but then my energy recovered....when the I people decided to go back to our previous school on Children's Day....was quite fun...the teachers....FRIENDS,...and friends......

i couldnt help remembering all the sweet memories i had of that school...my school....My Apeejay...
coz

Soaring high is my Nature...lol

Also met the "missing" ppl (different context).... but it seems that i have always been putting 100%+ efforts.....but the output is never above 20%...so what would one do in such a situation...
well
all that is not in my hands...its how they have seen the world around themselves...but even then.....'the input' would always be 100%+....for everything...

after coming back got to hear some really depressing news....from a really nice person...whom i was waiting to chat with in a while..

and you wont imagine...
all LP videos that i tried watchin that day...i couldnt stop remembering 'the news'...i mean why does this supposed to be happening.... are relationships* made just to be broken....just as they say..."RULES ARE MEANT TO BE BROKEN ....

even in this case...its not intentional breakage...its just circumstances...i do feel he doesnt go..
but sometimes we have to agree...that we arent capable of doing everything....
i guess...that was the END for the Libels....atleast for me....

maybe something big is in future...
i m trying to be my best....
although...i commited a huge mistake today...
i m not afraid to accept it....but i need to learn from it...

nvr ever am i gonna do it again in future....TRUST me...

i have been thinking about a lot pf people back in the IP these days....and
suddenly from nowhere...pops out a name in my mind that i never even expect to think of...
well i guess....
anger is what defines the limits...


someone asked me, why do i keep my blog so emo....so so not very understandable...
well here's the answer..

dude/dudette's
its not that its intentional...just that...i dont want everyone to know what i m saying...if they are brainy enough (like some...who have "OUT OF THIS UNIVERSE" extraordinary guessing powers...they can interpret the meaning correctly) and i also intend to put the theory of the intended readers....i expect only some people to really get the meaning of all the crap that i type in...

and with that...i
guess i gotta go
now

very late ready...
need to revise...haha...yeah...

btw
I will show 'em all that i can do everything that they can do...and no doubt that i can do it better...
mark my words..

take care$ guys...
missin y'all...
some1...

SaNdEsH

Hoping to see a colourful future....and a golden past....so that i have a bright and shiny present.......
......
....

lol

i know i sk @ it....but its worth giving a try...

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now

that

was

way too

far away

from what i was expecting..


why is "everything" changing so much...?? why cant we realise, that whatever form we are in, we are still ourselves only...? Changes come and go...but that doesnt make you...

at the moment...
i m not in a good condition to write anything....nothing at alll...

but even then...i would like to dedicate this post to some people for always or in any ways being there for me.....

wish...i could tell you how much it feels to be here...
sometimes...i feel that i should bombard with sms's and force
but to be true...i just cant...cause i want to be as natural with you as possible...

i always...cherish everything...i still remember the days and nites...
cause even still they havent changed....blackness...blackness...
reminds me of this song called All Black by Good Charlotte..

well after reading it up, you wont believe but i couldnt literally stand up...
i am still thinking about it...what is it that is making all this happening...


is it a sign...to show me that i m never supposed to get "it"..?
why ,,,, never mind i wont question....never...

god hasnt been fair enough...or should i better say that....i m in the wrong....

i just cant get out of it..



well...it happens...i will come out of it...
but the only thing that i am worried about is the fact that whether you would be able to come out of it. i cant see your sunshine smile dissappearing...i just dont want it... i want those smiles and laughs to always be there with you...if they arent...i will be there to give them to you...haha lol..


hahaha
well life goes on...and you have to undergo...

dont worry lah..change is always for the better....to reflect on what you were becoming and wht you wanted to be as a person...

why am i doing this...
i mean, come on i m not expecting people to read this...and acknowledge <
neither is the concerned one...the dear one...gonna..


lol
never mind..


today was a bit fun lah..

today can classify the day as Icomp day....was with the icomp people since morning...
some of 'em are going for..
competitions...thought could entertain them while they prepare...
despite all the sadness...cause i guess they are understnding...


i really really feel like killing myself...and all the people on this planet...
except some..

mom
dad
erm... n
all the "special friends"

haha just kiddin..i m a good person...just tht its difficult to find...lol

Loves
takes and cares..

SaNdEsH

if you really meant what you wrote...i dont mind expecting myself to be freed...to be given independence and freedom...to be unblocked..

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Should i just call it off..a BLOODY...
COMPLETE FAILURE..
and abort the mission...

no ..no..
i can remember...
something

something coming into my mind..

i m hacking as usual..
but more into my beast...
"Blue Team dominating"...

open door
laughs....

and the hacking is to be closed down..

it does give me the idea....the "idea" that
that
...i dont know how to say..

but there was something in the giggling something very very relieving...

it makes you remind of something...but you just cant remember what...
so basically its not a complete failure....NOT 100% atleast...

it


is


a



100000%
COMPLETE FAILURE...

why cant i just come out of it..
why

i mean i did put in my best...
i dint let anyone know...how i prepared..
no one...
i expressed"&*$"_)#%^@_!%#_#"#?#}
day and nite...

but still no results...no fruits...
inturn it feels like

like


going to hell..
why is it like that...wht is the reason behind that...what is the science...
AND... (not whats the meaning behind it...)

i have had enough of meanings and some freakish arts like that which i already forgot..


the only thing i can remember
is the failure..
and
THE FAILURE..

still then

CHeer UP
there are "other) things to worry about too...

well the day was quite boring....dint have much to do...
since i couldn't meet her in the morning..
felt like talking to her...feels like ages. infact in reality it really is...maybe not just ages...its been like lives for me about someone else..
and then as well...
she is leaving on the Saturday...so
ya..






loves...
takes...
cares...

SaNdEsH
Take Care...

FAILURES

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