it feels so different..

i feel so confused.
i mean my analysis just feels so "not impactful" for me when others show theirs..

its very painful, and i dont know why...but i have been going through the "2-people-saying-exactly-the-same-sentence-which-doesnt-really-make-me-feel-comfortable" siuations...


and guess what??? 2 such situations happened...


i mean, the first one, i can understand, and fact is acceptable. Its always good to have someone letting you know ways of improvement. But i realised that one was encouraging, the other one was a level more than that, even though it dint mention any postives or anything...


the second situation is more of a concern than anything for me,
coz time is nearing the end and the beginning, and the "situation" is preventing me to plan anything for the beginning. wth..., i thought the direction is positive, but i dont know why some think it is not..
i mean, ya,
its not as if i m yet the "best" or what...
but i am trying...

feels so shocking...when all those moments of hard work and dedication just snaps in a moment just coz of "2-people-saying-exactly-the-same-thing"

life..hahaha




but nonetheless, i am looking forward for the challenge...
i m waiting for the fight...
the big fight...
to let them know whose boss...
yeah





ya...now about other stuff...
so basically, the week was quite good...yeah.. haha,

tuesday, ended late as usual. came back and slept. period.
wednesday was quite ok. CT changed the seating arrangement, and now i m the only GUY in the group! aaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh FEMINISM is creeping in my head...!!!!! LOL...
Exco meeting was serious... was teaching chimp, "my-eye-ball-gonna-drop-off" monster, jn and the sick banana (who carries dog on phone...get it??) video stuff...which i m sure they dint understand...
Thursday... got back geog opt results, then for one of the task ( i FAILED at the beginning of the lesson, i PASSED at the end with an A)haha, teacher never mark one section...
ya, couldnt help chimp and the rest edit their video, sry!
then teacher dropped me at Defence Science Organisation labs for elective (as usual)..and the elective went on smoothly..
was feeling very very down. after elective felt alright,...thnx to some1, and for this sum1 - "i'd love to be a gr8 fren 4vr!! :D" lol,
elective was fun, they showed us a powerful laser...and its fucking dangerous. we had to evacuate the class before the laser could be set up. then went in the room 5 at a time, cause dint have enough safety goggles.
When the machine was turned on, all i could hear was this little beep sound which was increasing in intensity.
that was just the flash pump to generate energy. after a while there was silence, about a second or something, then that thing started shooting out laser which dint look like the decent red coloured dot on the wall...it was "electric", i mean thats how i can think of describing it. the intructor put a piece of paper, and the paper got i perfect circular spot in the middle.

its like spark in mid air... just that its not a spark, its an extremely powerful laser.
ya, after a bit of research, i found out that, if an eye, comes in contact with the laser, the
lens in the eye would focus on the retina...and literally "EXPLODE".

and all that was JUST minimum power. It wasnt full power. Instructor say that must get permission from government to run on full power, as if anyone would find out or something...well that was what i thought when the instructor said that..

but i think it was too dumb for me to think that....if they run that machine on high power....anything in the way of the laser would be like completely destroyed. Just now, i talked about one eye, if the other brought in contact with the laser, well, it will literally DISAPPEAR. In scientific terms, the eye will burst, but the burst particles will burst until they become plasma (the fourth state of matter after solid, liquid, gas) and since "earthly" connections wont allow that, the plasma wont be stable enough and would hence "disappear".
its like the most painful thing happening to u for the shortest of time possible...and you cant even see the damage caused... (that is if u are able to see after the experiment in the first place)...
haiz.
haha

yeah so thursday ended like that..


Friday, i.e. today, is India's Independance Day...so err...Happy 62nd Birthday India!!!
we went to the embassy to celebrate!!
reached there just on time for flag hoisting..

they opened the buffet earliar for the students this time round..yea,so basically we ate early and were taking pics until we left...ya!!!

left....reached hostel
me and sagar, watched olympics on the bus back...haha

went to school after changing...
chem
physics
maths quiz...

came back talking about random stuff!!! Its just so nice to be with her...


and now...i m desperately waiting for tomorrow..
tomorrow is an important day!! haha, not because i have to go to hindi school...but because of something...just almost impossible to describe in words...

you mean the world to me,
and belive me or not...
its true, that i can do anything for you,
and the question you asked me on wednesday night...
or the questions you wanted to ask...

my answer would have always been
YES!!! i would have done that!

more coming up tomorrow..!!!




-sandesh