sinking down and down
and down...into the ocean of failure...

i am trying...but the sytems aren't just responding..

the slap will improve...the drag isnt possible
the wrist is doing good too...
i mean....i will do drags when i get my own..


nvr mind...
my mind isn't just getting into things...


too worried about something...
something that cant really be described...

although i know people are gonna ask me..
but seriously i dont know myself...


and after saying that...
i know what the response is gonna be like...

but seriously...
i dont know..



i mean...ya
i am nothing...
thats...the feeling i get...

coz of the f'ing community here..
but i have already taken the decision...


i dont really worry about voicing out now, to make ppl's "little" efforts worthy of the "TIME" they sacrifice for all this...
i mean...
i "used" to give a thought about it...

and several times i have backed out from taking such a decision...

but i guess....when things dont go the way you want...
you have to take certain steps...that...how to say...MASSES wont find appreciable but maybe some ppl with working "COCONUTS" would try to understand..

i dont know why i am writing all this...
as if its gonna do any better for 'em...



HENCE....
to summarise everything...



I've given up on you ppl...
Tomorrow...will be the deadline...and
if not tomorrow....then
i have to put the least efforts for 'em and i guess...that would be acceptable for 'em



coz as a god-dammed freakin "group"
these things are supposed to happen


Limelight of darkness maybe..??

i dont care...

For y'all...
its not the experience...
its not the act of "understainding" the art...
its not the part about making things look complex in the simplest way possible..

physically or mentally


that is important...






for y'all
the onl f'ing thing that matters....
is yourself...
yourself....and
yourself...


i mean...
more than the HEIGHT of selfishness but still...
somemore ppl have such an ego....

like
wtf..

but nvr mind...
i dont care about it anyways...

i dont care whether ppl throw applauses at us...
or garbage at us...


My part is over. Period.
-------


today's 'dance' practice...was...i dont know...
i mean....i wasnt even paying attention...


Extreme floorball training had my body aching like shit...


i was so sleepy...i actually fell asleep..
but then woken up by Grka...screaming at the top of her voice...
alongwith some faint calls by "others" too...

i dont know....the content..
but i did hear...my name pop out...
at times....volume and pitch did cross limits...



but still...


i am still confused...
about whats happening...


give me clues dear...if dont wanna tell me "100%"
haha

i love solving mysteries....
---

nvr mind,,,guess
i'll do other stuff now...



More than anything...its just the respect and love that i have...that makes me look so "obsessed...."...
mabe you can actually call it "obsession" in some sense...
but still...there are other "elements too"


LOL
tk care

cia



Adios amigos

Sandesh
:(